How Not to Write Yu Yu Hakusho Fanfiction
by The Typhon Serpent
Summary: File this under "It seemed like a good idea at the time". A quick-and-dirty guide on how to write the worst, I mean, BEST YYH fanfiction EVAR!1! Part crackfic, part disfic. Obviously a oneshot.


A/N: I'm not a flamer.  
No, really I'm not. I try to avoid giving a review without putting something positive about the story in it and I'm far from someone who gives harsh critiques. I have no backbone.  
It's just ... I was recently reminded why there are only a handful of YYH fanfic authors I actually like.  
This was amazingly therapeutic. I could have easily put something about YYH Slash in here, but I decided to just avoid that mess altogether.  
Believe it or not, I actually ended up proofreading this X_x  
Ask me about a Mary-Sue Bingo card.

* * *

**HOW NOT TO WRITE YU YU HAKUSHO FANFICTION**

_OK, first things first: Your very own, one-of-a-kind Mary-Sue …_  
I bounced up and down on my toes, I was so excited for my first day at my new high school. My long, blond hair bounced up and down as I jumped up each step to the school. My purple eyes glittered with delight. Oh, my name is Kagome, by the way. Nice to meet you. I just transferred to a new high school and I'm excited but also nervous. See, ever since I was little, I've been able to see demons and ghosts and stuff. My parents always said I was weird and I never had any friends because of it, but I hope things will be different here.

_Got it? Good. Oh, wait, we need to fix her up with a canon next …_  
I walked into the school confidently. Everyone looked at me and whispered. Some of them heard rumors from my old school and said, "That's the weird girl who says she can see ghosts, gross!"  
I frowned. I wouldn't be able to get a fresh start here. A couple guys pointed at laughed at me and I felt like I was going to cry.  
Suddenly, a boy with long red hair walked up to the guys who were laughing at me. "Leave her alone!" he said. They shrugged and walked away. He walked up to me.  
"Are you OK?" he asked.  
I nodded and blushed. He was really cute and pretty.  
"I'm Shuiichi Minamino, but you can call me Kurama."  
"I'm Kagome, it's nice to meet you."  
He looked away and blushed. I thought it was cute. "Uh, hey, do you want to go on a date this weekend?"  
"Yes!" I said with a smile. He smiled back.

_Doing good so far, but we need to keep readers interested. How about a love triangle? You'll want to write some random interactions with Kurama during the week, but for now, we'll start on the day of the date …_  
On Saturday, I was going to go to a ramen shop with Kurama. I put on my best outfit, but on my way down the street, I saw a boy with spiky black hair who was wearing a black robe. He was so hot, I blushed when I saw him. "Hello." I said.  
He waved to me. "Where are you going?" he asked.  
"I'm going on a date."  
"Oh," he said. He looked disappointed, "With who?"  
"With a boy from my school named Kurama."  
"You know Kurama?"  
"Yes, do you?"  
"Yes, he's my friend."  
"Oh, OK." I said, "Well, we haven't officially started dating yet."  
He looked up at me and looked hopeful. "Well, if he's not your boyfriend, would you mind going out with me tomorrow?"  
"Of course." I giggled, "I'll meet you here tomorrow. What's your name?"  
"I'm Hiei."  
"I'm Kagome."

_Now you're getting it. I'm glad you remembered to write Hiei horribly out of character. It's not like he hates being social and interacting with humans. Sure, he has some issues with women due to his aunt tossing him off a cliff, but what better way to cure that then with the power of love? Let's skip ahead to the date with our fire demon …_  
On Sunday, I went to meet Hiei and I was really excited. He showed up and the first thing he did was pick me up and start running. I blushed and then realized he was running so fast that nobody else could see us!  
"You're a demon!" I said. I didn't notice his demon energy until now.  
He didn't say anything. He kept running until we reached the woods and then the top of a mountain where he put me down. "Wow!" I said. The view was so pretty, you could see the ocean and the forest and even the city from here!  
I looked at Hiei again, "Why didn't you tell me you were a demon?"  
"I didn't think you would like me if you knew." He said while looking at his shoes, "I don't trust women except for my sister but I've never felt the same way about a woman as I do with you."  
I gasped, "Why do you not trust women and why do you feel differently about me?"  
"My mother died when I was little and my aunt tried to kill me. I feel differently about you because I think I love you."  
He suddenly walked up to me and kissed me. I was surprised but also excited. "I love you, too, Hiei." I said.

_Oops, Yu Yu Hakusho is a fighting anime, not a romance anime. Don't worry, it's not too late to throw some action in there. But first, we need to build on the love triangle …_  
After school on Monday, I walked out of school when Kurama walked up to me. "Did you go on a date with Hiei yesterday?" he asked.  
"Yes." I said. I was a little scared because he looked angry.  
"But I thought you liked me! You went on a date with me first!"  
"I'm sorry, Kurama." I said, "I do like you."  
"But you didn't tell me you loved me and you didn't kiss me!" he started crying.  
I gave him a hug. "Don't worry, Kurama. I love Hiei but I can't be with him because he's a demon and I'm a human. I can't live in demon world with him and I love you, too."  
"But I'm a demon, too." Kurama sobbed, "I'm a fox demon and I can control plants."  
I gasped. "But I can't live in demon world!" I said.

_I like how we have a Romeo-and-Juliet thing going here. Nothing like Shakespearian plots, right? Now we're ready for some action …_  
I was walking home from school a few days later when I ran into a boy with black hair that was all slicked back. I recognized him instantly. "Yusuke!" I said in surprise.  
"Kagome!" he said. Hiei came out of nowhere and started running towards Yusuke, but he looked surprised when he saw me.  
"Kagome, what are you doing here?" he asked.  
"I was just going home from school and I ran into Yusuke!"  
"She's my little sister." Yusuke said, "But she moved away a long time ago. I didn't know she was back in town."  
"But if she's your sister, then that means she's part demon, too!" Hiei said, "She can help us on the mission!"  
"What mission?" I asked. Yusuke told me he was a demon before, but my demon blood hadn't woken up yet so I didn't know how to fight.  
"There's a gang of dog demons trying to attack the city." Hiei said, "We have to hurry or they'll kill everyone!"  
Hiei grabbed my hand and the three of us started running to the edge of town. When we got there, I saw Kurama fighting the demons with thorned whip and some orange-haired weirdo with a glowing sword. Yusuke held up his hand and fired his spirit gun at the demons and Hiei took out his sword to fight them with.  
Suddenly, one of the demons charged towards me. "Kagome, no!" Kurama and Hiei called at the same time. But I swung a punch at the demon and knocked him out cold.

_Wow! She's in a relationship with a canon AND related to a canon that's supposed to be an only child? I'm impressed. But we need to give her a large amount of power without explaining where she got it if we want to get anywhere with this …_  
I started punching some other demons and suddenly noticed my fist was glowing. When I punched the next demon, my hand lit on fire! I gasped but the fire didn't hurt me, it only hurt the demon who ran away screaming. I conjured up a fireball and threw it at a few more demons. Then I made a dragon out of fire just like the one Hiei was using except it was red. The dragon started attacking the demons while I fought them with Kurama and Hiei at my side.

_Since comic reliefs have no personality and only exist for us to hate them, let's bash Kuwabara while we're here …_  
The orange-haired idiot ran up to me. "There are more demons coming. We'll never be able to fight them all!" he said.  
I rolled my eyes at the moron and sent my dragon to attack him. He ran around in a circle screaming until the dragon opened it's mouth and swallowed him whole.

_Killing off main characters now? You're doing better than I thought you would.  
Alright, final step: grammar out the window …_  
"KAGOME!1!" Kurama sais, "We ned to work togethr to defeat teh demons!``111!"  
"Kurama's rights!`!" Hiei said "We shuld work together and & set aside our difffrences for now1  
I nodded understanfing them. "Let's fight demons togethwr~"" I sed.  
Kurama turned into his dmon fox form an the 2 of us jumpeed into the back of me dragun. "Cum!" I said to Hie. He did and the 3 ofus flew into the deemon world potal.

_OK, I'm going to stop right there because it's starting to burn. But I think you get the basic idea. Good start! Remember to reject any suggestions people give you to improve your story and if anyone criticizes your work, they're just haters and flamers and a quick rant to their inbox will take care of them!_


End file.
